Sunday, September 2, 2012


as you may have noticed i am completely disinterested in wc3 nowadays.......... BUT SHIT I DO NEED TO POUR ALL DESE FEELS SOMEWHERE, so from now on, atleast this post, is my personal blog. OK well shit fuck one moment i feel like saniest man alive other i feel like my brain is exploding and i am having a total mental collapseeeee.. One moment i feel 100% confident and great, fully sure what to do ( and before i even start ) it alllllllll goes backwards, for whatever reasons i start scolding myself and start feeling stressed. But dont get me wrong, i am totaly chilled all the time, but this "stressed" is like on the inside, it doseant come out, pretty weird shit.............sdfsdfxvc........... But uh, hard to put things into words, but its like i got all the feels of the world flowing everywhere, thats probably not even bad thing, i cant identify myself as anything yet, i dont belong anywhere ( not even my own words ), jussss pretty weird.. sometimes i just breathe in the fresh air from outside, look up in the air and see clouds in the dark sky, fresh breeze, i start longing for friends and just hanging out doing nothing at all outside, just breathing the air, at same time i should be doing something right? and its not like i can even hang out with friends cuz i dont have any available, but hey faggot you could just walk to the city centre and mb you gonna find some stranger just kicking back and you can fucking talk to him cuz why the fuck not bitch? yes its possible, but i am dirty smelly and its late now, thats not really a good excuse dipshit, could do all of this in like 30min and you got no job until monday so whatever happens on sunday will be fixed till the jobtiems come. Thats a complete truth, i wish to fucking sing songs, play music, make stuff, but i have no ability to do any of those........ YEAH RIGHT FAGGOT, YOU CAN SING RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT, but its late i will wake everyone up and i dunno any songs to sing outside without pc assitance. SO WHAT, JUST HUMM SOME MELODIES YOU FAG, WILL TRAIN YOUR VOICE ATLEAST A BIT OR GO INTO THAT ABANDONED PARK OR FIELD, NOONES THERE AT THIS TIME, YOU COULD YELL OR RAPE AND NOONE WOULD HEAR.... fuck I cant believe i was serious about using escort services just today morning, i felt pretty serious googling brides for sale too..... should start reading all that ebook shit ive been hoarding up all this time. JUST RELAX DUDEEEEEEEEEEEE RELAX PLZ ATLAST RELAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

why you keep doing this, why cant we just enjoy this life together, do some stuff bro? maybe i should totaly turn you off bra, but its so lonely without you and you actually come up with some funny stuff and cool shit which i crave to see from others. Yep.gee......................................................................................... You sure are self destructive. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ( NEARLY ). But thats not good enough dude. Same as with bloodmage, everyone go for standart, bloodmage is abandoned, but its the true way to higher potential and you know it. No matter how you spin it, bloodmage is superior to everything in the end. You lose I LOST most of my games due to this personality shit, the shit that you cant relax, we lost games cuz of it bro, cuz you so tense, you cant just kick back and open your eyes, why is that so hard...... MY brain is fucking empty and malfunctioning, my arms feel annoyed by this stupidty. Best way i made myself work proper was when i hurt myself physicaly. IT BROUGHT ME BACK TO REALITY. YES YES THESE FEELS ARE GOOD, THIS HATRED FOR MYSELF IS FLOWING RIGHT NOW, this real dissapointment which i forgotten today and the last weeks, these feels are good, ia m embracing the real self, now i can battle it for reals........ COME HERE YOU FUCKING BITCH, throw all the sorrow you can at me. I AM NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT. THE LOST LOVE? SURE. HOW SHE SEEMS TO BE LIVING REAL SMOOTH RIGHT NOW? SURE FAG. HOW YOU ARE ALL ALONE FOR YEARS? Sure np. ALL THE REGRET WITH GRANDMA, RAINA and YOUR YOUTH IN SCHOOL? OKAY NO PROBLEM. ALL THE TIME WASTED DUE TO NOTHING? ALL THE TIME WASTED DUE TO ENERGY PUT TO WRONG USE? OKIOKI these are not the real causes, this is shit, i am level above this crap already. WHEN WHAT IS IT? that feel is gone...... is the true me being opressed deep inside? was it just his cry for help just now ..... maybe i should drop all this mind mirrage and embrace the true feels from inside and let them take over.? YES, isnt this what i talked about long time ago? the warriors mind bro, the ultimate potential unleashed, the true power. AND ANNOYANCE IS BACK, should i battle it? If i lay down and hit somethings it goes away, but should i? how do i level up? improve? Shouldnt you set a straight goal and follow it to improve? yes, thats the best and probably the only way. But that means having your mind intact. Then first you must tame your mind, but he is a friend, if i tame him how lonely will i get. Dont worry, with warriors mind lonelyness wont even affect you, same way you killed boredom. Mb i should go do that devote your soul to satan ritual atlast lol. MAYBEE. Oh remember what you said when you considered it before? GET DOWN TO EARTH and start doing whats actually effective and arround you, cuz by the readings about satan thats something he woulda say to do and would do himself, its the only legit way. If you look for fancy schmancys you are not a real person anymore, just  a hipster..sdsdfczxcaqrf yhtyj werfwqdf. Man, why do i want kids so much. Probs cuz u lived with 2 little girls for the last year and a half and it aint bad at all and kids fucking like you mang. Its easy shit really, just dont push shit down the kids throats and dont sweat about nothing serious, basicaly relax. RELAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXING
Not as in you let everything go, but you let everything go. You know? Paradoxes are the best, they are sooo full of truth. You are living, but at same time you are dieing hehe mind and heart / heart and mind

Whatever i dont even know why i keep writing this still. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING? OR MAYBE DO NOTHING AT ALL AND JUST RELAX GO TO BED? maybe make tommorow not so fucking useless, today you went a bittttttttttt too harsh on that list of shit you could do, but it may come in handy next week and for some motivation extra some time. MAN I REALLY NEED TO REINSTALL WINDOWS. HEY MB GET SOME LINUX BRO. not like i play any vidya anymore and later ill need new pc porn is the only thing what excites me a little bit nowadays ( ALMOST ONLY THING ), still it barely works anymore. Meh just turned it off, all those hoes are mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, fuck that. I understand the pornstars ( male and female ) and the douchebags and the rudeboys completely right now. IF you feel this way you just want to fuck rough and in many different ways, doing weird, tough shit, cuz nothing else really is fun/works anymore

just go to bed, you are tired, thats why you feel this way

okay....ill try  harder tommorow, today wasnt that bad right? i came up from this puddle a little bit


- if you are crow from future reading this for extra motivation or for laughs then fuck you faggot lol, i hope you are doing better than me right now. AND SHIT I HOPE YOU FUCKING OWNED SOME SHIT WITH BLOODMAGE BY NOW!! AND FUCKING VISITED MOM AND RAINA AND GRETA AND ALAN AND LITHUANIA GENERAL BITCH


- if you are not crow then please dont read this shit above, its just crazy ramblingssssssssssssssz

- if you think you might benefit from reading that shit, sureeeee, might find some similarities and might help ya out

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