One track mind doseant work. Just training until you succeed on this one thing and setting everything up for it, it just doseant work. You run out of juice FAIRLY QUICKLY because you just over do it. Even if you didnt run out of juice, its actually not as effective as doing multiple projects at same time ( not too many though ), because you learn in more broad manner and find new inspiring things from other things. Brings in new fresh perspective and expands your ability.
So what I need is I need another project to fall in love with, build some more character, build onto myself more. This will help with the never ending anxiety, because my life will get much more busy and full of personal experiences from which I can scoope power for myself whenever I feel down about my lifes direction
I need some time to contemplate on this, what it should be. But I have some ideas. ( not terrible, cheesy ones as usual, over time I am becoming much more practical with my thinking )