Monday, June 13, 2016

THE ILLNESS OF BEING FINE

So many things are fine in life, so many things feel just okay and not terrible.

  • Watching videos
  • Streams
  • Reading/listening about someones life or a story
  • Watching movies/shows. THE STORIES MOST OF THE TIME ARE NICE, AND MAKE YOU FEEL NICE, BUT NOT SUPER PERFECT AMAZING
  • Just getting by in life and doing whatever
ALL OF THESE FEELINGS ARE A SLOW, DEADLY CANCER BUILDING UP INSIDE OF YOU. WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its very dangerous to be stuck in a state of fine. Slowly you will lose your senses, your confidence, your EVERYTHING, you stop being yourself, BECAUSE! YOU ARE NOT BEING YOURSELF

In life everything takes effort and practice, so if you invest into everything, but YOURSELF, you don't stay/become yourself. You become bad and being yourself, and who likes being bad? It is only going to get worse and worse with time.

Sometimes its easy to say " I deserve rest " and just hang out do whatever, it doesn't really feel like anything special and time just goes by. Did you really rest? Was it really worth it?  Would not just sleeping or ACTUALLY resting make you feel more rested? Weren't you just fooled by your CANCER inside of you to slowly kill yourself? LOL

A good question to ask yourself basically before you start doing anything or after anything happens to you. Is this fucking amazing? What could I do to feel AMAZING?

In the end your body is the moral code/judgement, all you can do is please it and hope that you were born with not fucked up killer brains. So go ahead and fucking PLEASE IT. What DO YOU WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW TO FEEL GREAT?

This question is liberating. I start doing things I actually enjoy, I start focusing on things I actually LIKE. WOW! They were all so close, but I always put it down and tried "new things", because I Knew I would feel good if I did what was good, so I wanted to make myself "grow" and SPREAD OUT, but THAT IS SUCH A ROOKIE MISTAKE. SO FUCKING NOOB LOL!

Its hard to describe every single sense and excuse and trap I put myself through as im trying my best not to forget my main idea while writing this, but take care of yourself my man. That rush of power and energy you feel when you do things which are actually your own things, when you focus on SELF SELF SELF, FUN FUN FUN, ENJOYMENT, GROWTH instead of consumerism and bullshit, life just looks up. It defeats all the toxic thoughts, it makes the slate clean. Same as that conclusion about relationships and problems. Do you really want to sit around and talk through the things? "make plans" and shit like that? WHO GIVES A FUCK IF IT FEELS BAD. Dont give me those excuses of being loyal, supreme gentleman, good/honest/loving human being bull shit. DONT GUILT TRIP YOURSELF, DONT PUT ALL THAT DIRT ON YOURSELF

SURE it doesnt feel like a guilt trip, but WHAT IS IT THEN if NOT THAT?
STOP ACCEPTING IDEALS WHICH DONT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, IT WILL STAGNATE YOUR GROWTH. YOU EITHER LAY YOUR HEAD ON IDEA WHICH MAKES U FEEL GOOD, OR YOU AINT GOT SHIT MAN

WHAT IS THE BEST?

WHAT IS THE FUCKING BEST?

WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW?

WHAT IS GREAT? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF?

MAnAGE YOURSELF BITCH JUST FUCKING MANAGE YOURSELF. IT IS THE SKILL OF LIFE. EVERYTHING IS GREAT AS LONG AS YOU ARE SKILLED, ITS COMMON SENSE, YOU KNEW THIS AND KNOW THIS RIGHT NOW AND FOREVER!!! ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS STOP DELUDING YOURSELF


WC3= lay your head on fucking improving, DESTROYING focus on 1 thing. NO BULLSHIT RANDOM STRATS OR GAYNESS AS BEFORE. COMMIT COMMIT COMMIT COMMIT. AND WHAT I COMMIT TO BECOMES ME

LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFEL IFEL FUCKING BURN THIS SHIT AWAY PLEASE

BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN

Good old mix. BECAUSE FUCK YOU ALL I WILL LIVE ON

So tired of killing myself every other day and forgetting who I AM. LAST 9999999999YEARS, FUCK SINCE BIRTH. I KEEP DIMMING MY OWN FIRE, just as I think I get to something, BAM BAM BAM I DESTROY MYSELF BECAUSE IM TOO INFLUENCED BY WEAKNESS. MY DESIRE TO NOT BE LONELY MAKES ME ACCEPT SHIT INTO ME TO RELATE TO PEOPLE WHO SURROUND ME ( FAGGETS ) FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

THE URGE TO DIE IS HIGH, BUT I WILL LIVE ON.

I WILL WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN BY BURNING THROUGH ALL OF THIS AND STANDING PROUD AT THE END OF IT. FUCK YOU YOU PEICE OF SHIT FEELINGS AND BRAINS

I WILL TAME YOU

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