Learn2War3 |||||||| CROWJAMBOOOUUU

  doug on a bike, smol I lost weight. Am basically severely underweight now. Work as a cleaner 12+ hours a day for few months, while doing AI masterminding on crypto and polymarket whenever I have time. (Mostly just come home, and have it report to me the tests its been running or strategies it was testing) Writing this blog since been bedridden for last week, ruined my back from working, am old and weak lmao. Things both look great and awful at same time. For fun lets list some of the great things GREAT:     In time to become AI engineer and join the goldrush/future. Could find a way to breakthrough financially and freedom wise using this. (Entirely skill issue) am skinny now got welfare technically on a break from work due to being buck broken (Got time) got a close friend got a doug friends doing better, no more suicide scares everyday SUCKS: Am forced to become AI engineer to make any money without destroying my body am distant with dog, since we barely spent any time...

  Should be able to clearly answer these about myself, and about people close to me Else you cant build connection, communicate your own needs, repair hurts Dont repair them quick? You build gaps and distance Enjoy feeling alone forever  bonus for myself zzz Fear of intimacy Fear of being seen So I hide away, I become mechanical and cold. Being mean, aggressive, out of control, and mechanical + cold Thats the things that I often show, despite trying/seeing myself as a warm person Push everyone away, desire closeness, talk that I crave it, get mad then I don't get it. When theres a chance to get it, I am cold and scared, or mechanical. Never enjoying, never loving, never being free Then crying about it like a bitch, that I am so lonely Extremism, ideas that come from weakness What have I actually done to fix the environment I am in, to fix the weakness? To build something around myself that lasts and is good? Asking the right questions. Only then you'll find the answers that me...