Opening up to someone

 It is a nice dream to have, an idea that you can open up one day to someone and they will listen, understand you and accept you. Its a warm, comforting thought

And it might happen that way, but very likely that if you open up with something that you never opened up to someone before, or its something you've been holding on for a long time, that it will be sudden, it will surprise them, they might not be ready to reply properly. Heck they might even say something hurtful or mean

I did this, I had this happen to me many times as well. 

That kind of comes back to the previous posts talking about imperfection of human beings. It is so stressful and on the edge to be expected to say perfect lines, which are kind of RNG anyway, its so easy to fuck it all up. But if someones intent is well, if you give them enough time they can learn to talk to you and understand you. Most important is the intent I think, and effort

Perhaps its just cope, and as they say - "the right person wouldn't have to try, they would just naturally be able to say/do the right things", heck maybe that is right. I personally don't believe in those ideas. Right person is the one who genuinely tries, everything else is made up bullshit

Its easier to give up and move on. Write it off as bad events/bad people, and accept pain

Do keep in mind that these are dangerous thoughts. Since they might entrap you in bad relationships or bad people. You have to get really good at discerning who is genuinely trying, what intent do people actually have, else you will destroy yourself

But thats just my opinion, dont treat it as a fact. And if a certain cat named tom is reading this. It is not meant to be personal, or some kind of assumption/accusation. I am just speaking my mind, when I do it only encompasses things within and how I operate. I dont feel the need to conscript everyone around me to be followers of my ideology and  think/say what I think/say. I actually like it when people have their own independent thoughts and ideas, even if they are different

That is the reason I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts, because I want everyone to be like that. I am allowed to do this, because you are too, everyone is. Simple as

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I was born thinking of things in entirely impossible way, but I will continue doing it so

The way:

I've selected you to be my person, now my only intent is to understand you, and for you to understand me fully. No shallowness 

Its just how it is. Im simple and honest. 

I need to do a better job at being consistent at that though. Right now I still get muddied up by external bs and lose myself for a while from time to time. 

I should write more about that next days, I need to constantly remind myself who am I to not get drowned out and become some kind of parody of all external stuff I've absorbed

Stop being a sponge!! Be myself!!

Opening up and being accepted for who you are, probably is much easier if you actually know who you are lol