Note:
Had a blog post brewing for a while, but its been over two weeks now, so I'll let it go and just post the scraps and move on to a new one. Since I was too busy and stressed/distracted with work to finish this one and lost the original thought process already ~~
Kind of funny in relation to "half way done goals"
---
cars, drifting, motorcycles, ideas of travel, coaching to pro, thinking about starting a family
and so on and on
but these goals aren't fully aimed for, so what you get is shit result
Aim fully for something, then its what you will get, simple as
hard training
hard improvement
constant movement
constant action
constant living
active rest
and then go again
now thats fun!
build my own empire, be strong, develop myself
now thats fun!
and then have a day off to celebrate? and go again!
---
When I am alone I am focused on myself, I perform better
When I am with any other person around, I always self sacrifice in some way, neglect what is best for myself. When this gets prolonged I fall into ruin.
Not sustainable, wrong approach. Its a bad habit. I should catch myself doing this, since no one wants you to self sacrifice, no one wants you to ruin yourself for them. Its a burden, yet somehow It "feels natural and right" in the moment, but the results speak for themselves. I feel awful, I perform awful, everything gets dragged down with me as well.
I was feeling down, stuck in doors from working, from coaching, then sucked into more of it in free time too
I turned on some mr kitty, got on a bike. Its midnight. Autumn wind, chilly, smoky smell. I just want to ride and ride and ride and ride, never come back. I feel myself. I feel alive. Its a shame that job is waiting for me in the morning, "cant stay up too long". I am tamed. But its ok, I'll learn to manage this faster, enjoy this feeling more. It is my muse
---
What makes you fall into bad habits, if you do those things, you will just end up with same results. It doesn't matter how much you "changed". Change what you do as a setup, and the results will change as well. That is the only way
----
I really love commiting to things. I want to drown myself in it, I want to give myself space and time to explore it. When I am into something, its only thing on my mind, I dream of it. It is painful to distract myself from it, I am greedy for blooming of my own ideas and how great I am becoming at the thing. Any distraction = I am tarnishing it
All entertainment, all things that I love doing, are great and all, but it all falls short to aiming for something that I want.
Just go all in. And if its not something I see as worth going all in for, then maybe its not worth doing at all? It usually only takes few minutes to get a rough idea of what you want to do, what you need to improve in yourself and change, yet simply get scared to think it/say it out loud as then you have to take responsibility for it. Don't be!!!! Life feels sooo fucking bad, its not worth living this way and you know it!. Just stop distracting yourself for a moment and you realize it immediately !!!
Remember the positive feelings, the greatness you feel when you follow the path. You deserve a real life, you deserve real love, you can grab it all, notthing is holding you back from it except yourself and these bullshit habits and traps
Why you are doing what you are doing right now?
What makes your "life boat" faster?
Lols
We have these talks in the coaching, its hard to stay focused, its only human. Dont shame yourself for it nor allow anyone to shame you for it and somehow downplay your efforts. This is a skill to constantly hone, keep sharpening yourself periodically and you ll get there
---
Hug a pillow
Realize how lonely you are
Fall asleep with a small resemblence of warmth within your reach
Comments
Post a Comment