Maybe

 Perhaps I am just repeating the mistake of the past. Simply being delusional

If someone wants you around, they will show it. Doesn't matter the words they use, or how it "seems" to me. I will always somehow reach the conclusion that there is something good and positive between us, but maybe I am just being delusional

I did this in the past relationship as well, though to note, it was much much more delusional there. I somehow justified being essentially made a fool out of as a "bad habit" she had, and that we had a real connection from the bond developed by going through so many deep and emotional moments between us. (Which sometimes were, but I guess it was still mostly just her not having anyone else, but me)

And so I go on and distract myself from living my life, achieving my goals, being the best I can be at the things that I do. Busy thinking and trying to figure out why are my relationships not working

But it all might just be simply delusion, I dont know anymore. I am not that smart or great to figure things out for others, and perhaps I should stop trying to be. Simply focus on what I truly know and what I can see. And take it from there step by step

I need to think on this more. It might be just some sad thoughts coming along, or perhaps this is clarity, can't tell, but its good to think outwardly. Gets the things moving along, one step closer to figuring it out

--

I rush things too much, charge in too much

Perhaps the right choice to go forward is to take 2 steps back instead

Getting swept away by my own intensity and only pushing forwards makes me scary and dumb. That is also the time/frame of mind when I make the critical mistakes. I put myself into situations where I cannot think

Be confident, be slow. Isn't that the correct choice 99% of the time? What am I doing?