on pride

Ironically pride is what holds you back from greatness

If you are a nobody, if you are a loser, pride is only thing propping you up to feel somewhat "capable and human", but is also a poison that makes you a hater, that makes you waste time due to being overly confident in your ability. (Meh I dont need to train as much, just few games before hand. Meh I can get work done during the last day, I am pretty good at this etc. etc.)

I don't think about it too much, but if to look back at myself and how I act/think throughout history of my life - I am full of pride. It is probably one of my most prominent features

I still remember it as a fresh feeling being around 13 and having this strong sense of superiority about myself and my whole family for some weird reason. We were poor, we had nothing, I wasn't particularly successful in anything, but somehow I felt pride in who we were, and that sure times might be tought, but we are unstoppable and all are very smart and capable. I respected my family members abilities and thought I am great as well. This led to arrogance and actually setting myself back whenever I did something. I often thought that me being "creative" and looking for alternative ways to do things, was perhaps coming from sense of inferiority (which may be a partial truth), but on second thought it could be coming from pride and arrogance. Since assuming that you can figure out an alternative way that no one else thought of, must mean that you think you can do better than everyone else currently and before hand.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think its a bad thing. I like this boldness to venture forth and figure things out for yourself, if one has to be somewhat cocky and arrogant for it, so be it. It is just important to realize the downsides of yourself and any challenges it might bring up. Everything always stems from great understanding of yourself and others

So as mentioned, main downside - Overestimating, complacency, ignorance of smaller details, lack of focus, tendency to distract oneself (once again due to overestimating your own capacity)

Real improvement, real progress happens when you hone yourself through hard work, paying attention to the details and push forward. Not just great ideas. So this can be a big detriment if you don't learn to handle it

And thats essentially it. Only times I move forward is when I artificially prop myself up and make myself go against my arrogant and prideful nature. I am always thankful to myself for doing this. I am not stupid, I know my weaknesses. I guess best way to describe it would be - Its like walking on manual mode. Thats how it feels like due to how unnatural it is to me, yet it is the correct thing to do