therapy

JP once said - if you look back on something that happened in your past and it causes your body to feel stress, means you haven't gotten over it (mentioned in previous posts) and you need therapy else you'll just live all passive aggressive like or accidently unloading on your loved ones periodically

I do feel more secure unloading everything openly onto this blog, treating it like my therapy. Since at least all these feelings become predictable, I give myself room/space to deal with them preemptively and not get surprised by all of it at once. So thats a good thing?

I guess just have to keep in mind that all of this can lead into a bad habit of feeling sorry for yourself or treating yourself like some kind of victim (avoid at all costs!!). Just woke up worried about this. Don't want to spread negativity/pity energy around

Its hard to deny the value of this kind of therapy though. I do unironically feel better (was real bad some days ago), its easy and nice habit. 

Simply comes down to - not what you are doing, but how. Yeah you could turn writing about your issues into reinforcing your weaknesses by blaming everyone, but yourself, avoid accountability. But just because there is the risk of fucking it up, doesn't mean I should stop. Hmmz

Will keep it short today. Doing my daily blogpost in the morning, got quite a few things to do and actually have to somehow put myself to sleep early today. Gotta go to the police in the morning,  take some classes to get my license back. Will take full day : O

Last night despite it being super late(early), only way I could achieve this was by playing "I really want to stay at your house" on the loop. Funny that only with music around could my body relax