All old posts are hidden. I've noticed that I am indulging too much in using this blog as an "outlet" to negativity, and making it be more real than it should be. It's dragging me down. All of it can be summarised as - I live a life I am unhappy with, so in turn a lot of bad feels come in as a consequence. Don't have to make it any more deep than that, its simple like this
Solution:
- eyes forward
- live by focusing on what I want/can do
- aspire to be strong
Whenever struggling with these negative/dark emotions and thoughts, I am always faced with a few repeating options/paths in front of me. Each looking tempting in its own way, but they all have in common that they are dark paths towards ruin, or in other words - normie paths
Been hurt? Close off. That would be short summary of it all.
They tempt and tempt and tempt, since they give this illusion of getting back control of my life, a sudden empowerment. "I don't need anything or anyone!" "People just use each other, do that" and so on, don't want to dwell on it much
But I've promised myself multiple times throughout my life that I will never give up, I will avoid becoming small and meek, hiding away in fear. I must be open no matter what, else I will stop being myself and become the "after effect" of my scars
I still have a long way to go. The way I act and talk is all too negative. I am constricting myself too much, keeping myself in somewhat of a uncomfortable feeling at all times when around people. Too scared to be judged even if I preach otherwise and try to practice being myself. But as long as I don't forget on what am I doing and why, it will all be okay.
I am optimistic. I am getting better at managing my life, and with those skills I can support myself to go and do things that I care about and like. Enough of that and positivity should tip over the internal scale and be in leading position.
Lets go Crow, its you and me from here on out. Lets live good
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