Wake up on a weekend after working all week long. Feel a bit lost? Motivations dwindling? Start getting big ideas on purpose and life in general?
Reminder: Its all a trap. Those thoughts will not lead to resolutions, and only waste more of your life and of your precious free time.
Only thing that works/worked, and leads to anything positive:
- set a goal (DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS)
- accomplish it, and do whatever it takes to do so
some goals in the "pipeline"
- perform sick tandem drifts IRL
- moto travel and work remote same time
- touge drifting tour with my drift car
- cross continents on a bike
- learn sick tricks on a bike
- cross 300kmh on a bike on a public road
- visit each initial d touge destination irl, and drift there
- learn I really want to stay at your house on a guitar
- rebuild my house to be very comfy
- see my body be strong (how does it even feel to be physical strong?)
- release sweet sweet racing games (make one have visual novel elements for the lonely riders out there)
- find an opportunity/problem that I can fix, and become an employer (in short start a business, but less focus on profits, rather meaningful business)
- and many more...
- ....
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Try to watch a movie with family on disney+. Find a cute cartoon. Play it, look through available subtitles/dubs. Every language possible, except russian. Same on netflix, same everywhere these days it seems. Russian not allowed anymore, language of the enemies. Screw the people who use the langauge, even if they do not live in russia
Cartoon was cute (Luca), ended up watching it in polish so everyone would evenly understand the plot (only so so). Was related that my mother who is a teacher in a russian school was in a bad mood, since few days ago they sent government officers to inspect their school, apparently they fear that in russian schools that tax payers are paying for, they would grow russia war machine supporters or brainwash the kids, or so was their assumption. By the looks of it they plan to torment/cut wages of any russian teachers and basically make them unemployable by closing all russian schools.
Just sucks, sometimes feel at home and comfy here, but then realize that part of me is viewed as an enemy. I do not look russian, my russian sucks, my name and lastname has nothing to do with russia, but I am half. Its always weird. Don't think people here carry that much animosity towards russians, but when I am around, they dont see a reason to hold back any of it, since I look 100% lithuanian. So my exposure to it is significant throughout my life. Eh dunno.
Its just how it is I guess, there is no "homeland", there are no "people" of mine. All of those ideas are a scam perpetrated by people who want to use you anyway. There are just individuals who are nice and those who aren't. Do not get attached to a place, who knows in my life time this whole country might cease to exist and get flattened. My village/hometown already has changed into something else, the suroundings are always changin in a direction that I do not like. This isn't my home
Get lean, carry my life with me. Know what I need, keep it simple.
Dunno. Kind of weak thoughts. I get it being worried about my family here, and investing into life here, but isnt that what it is, just worry? Fear of being wasteful? Is that what you are afraid?
Sure it would suck to make their life here better, just for it all be taken away and in turn "wasted". But who knows if that will even happen, or even if it will, when? Will you live with this fear and worry all the time now? Sounds retarded bro. I think the appropriate course of action is to live fearlessly, do the right thing for now. If I am in fear and worry, then everything around me becomes even more so. I am the line of defence against it. Would the ideal version of me be scared of loss? No. If it all goes down, you just build it up again
These thoughts above, are thoughts of a weak person. Hold on dearly to the littlest of the possessions that you have, be small, be insignificant, hide away. Yep, kinda lame
I don't know what is the meaning of life, or my life or anyones life, but one thing for sure - living strong contrast to living weak, feels right. You could fail at everything, but if you lived with a strong mindset, it would be a great life. You could be proud of yourself. Perhaps that is enough. Just aim to live strongly, and it will all be fine somehow
I'll leave the blogpost about defining what is strength to later date, don't want to blog all night long at the moment
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