One nice thing about being in deep depression is honesty that comes with the feeling of having nothing tying you down
You might think you are honest, you might even feel like you are honest (with yourself), but as long as theres an ingrained thought/feeling that there is still something to lose, you are still holding back
The calm with truly having nothing, its liberating
this is quite accurate
One of the commenters on that clip accurately depicted it:
"People talk/act like this right before they kill themselves"
The calm decision - I simply don't like any of this
This level of honesty, ahhh...
There isn't that much else to say, I like it
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Goals, jobs, ambitions. Miss me with that please
There are few things out there that simply feel good to do, hit me with more of those please
Its simple as that. Life can be beautiful. Honesty helps, as it points you into the right direction
I am so bad at living : D D D. Give me 5minutes, and I quickly transform back to brainwashing mindset thats set out to whip myself into a shape I am not
For someone who hates masks, hates people feeling forced to put on masks, adores honesty - I am the biggest mask wearer out of them all. What part of me is even real
Only when I am defenseless, only then do I see true self and ahhh its a nice feeling
I want to be able to yell at the top of my lungs - FUCK YEAH, I LOVE THAT (like with cats lollololol)
just when that nice feeling engulfs you and you just cant go without saying it. PLEASE
ah
thats so fkn rock n roll man
I yearn for this
Throughout life took weird steps to get there. Really weird steps, ngl : D D. But, apart from eating myself up from the inside, guess it was at least on the track of honesty
Just need to get better at ripping my mask off, its stuck on me, I dont want it on. But the brainwashing keeps me scared subconsciously.
Strong emotions (positive or negative), drugs (both are kinda the same thing)
Only things that let me out
Am I supposed to just dig deep, be as present as possible, to grow my default emotional state to be so high out there, that I can't help it?
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I always try to remember my sisters words:
"No one is forcing you to be here, if you choose to be here, then enjoy it"
It goes for many things. In the instance it was said, it was more of to not ruin the family gathering vibe by being depressed (lol)
If you choose to be alive, enjoy it
If you choose to go out, make the best out of it
etc.
It might not be the perfect situation you envisioned, but how could I make it better?
Stuck in a shit conversation? Why not turn it around
Its a little bit empowering - you can take control of any situation and make it less shit or even nice perhaps
Being present and honest enough to tell yourself - THIS SUCKS
Stop distracting yourself with cope, and just destroy
Destroy everything thats trapping you right now. Fuck it
Destroy it all
Change is just another word for destruction
Destruction is just another word for honesty
Honesty is just another word for freedom
Freedom is just another word for being seen
Being seen is just another word for happiness
Happiness is just another word for living
And to live is the only goal there is that matters
So destroy away
Lets go do some destruction right now
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